Commuting Thoughts (Free Writing on a bus) 2021.10.11

 “The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.”—Jack London

I've been busy with work. But I still got lucky and was able to contribute a short vignette to an online fanzine. I thought of this blog. Does anybody even read what I write? Who am I kidding? 

I lost some friends these past few months to the pandemic. Several classmates, acquaintances, and old colleagues at work. I've been away from home that long—two years to be exact. It feels like I've been away for only two months. A few months back, I turned off some setting on my social media account. From then on, I did not receive any updates from friends—I still dream of being a recluse and it seems I am gradually succeeding. But it made me really depressed when I heard of old friends and acquaintances dying. I've kept my social media alive hoping that some day, when all is well, I can get to meet them again. I guess the world doesn't work that way. All I have are the good memories of the past. 

I saw the latest Bond film. [Spoiler Alert!] I think it was a good movie. The writers of that film really got  me teary eyed, but that's the beauty of fiction and sequels. I presume what fooled me to cry my heart out about the movie was their subtle inclusion of pandemic elements. Forgive me, but I am a sucker for drama. I am not a very good critic, and I do appreciate films in whatever shape and forms they come. I guess there's a lesson behind that film somewhere. Death is inevitable. 

-30-

Art Portfolio

I recently discovered drawing and art. Two weeks ago, I realized I should put my art out to the world. At least leave a mark or something; not just on paper.  

1. Cashier in the grocery

I made a quick sketch of the cashier the first time COVID-19 invaded us last March.

2. Musing with the Queen's Gambit (hoping for Netflix extending the series)

I wonder if Netflix will accept or decline the Queen's Gambit? I mean the option to extend the TV series must have been tempting. Walter Tevis left us hanging with that book of his. Anyway, Netflix did a good job in fictionalizing fiction if you've read Walter's book. 

I wonder how the expanded universe of that story would look like? How about this: Beth will face a new challenger—a Filipina sporting apple cut hairdo. Then sometime during the series, Beth tries competitive equestrian and bought herself a black stallion. She gets invited to the Philippines by FM to practice in San Lazaro (she practiced with Secretariat during the earlier episodes). Then during the finals, Beth accepts the Queen's Gambit of the Filipina challenger after the former learned that the latter's father was detained by FM during martial law. Ain't that a swell season finale? 

We don't know for sure. But that's the beauty of fiction. We can always imagine something better. 

3. The Old Man and the Sharks 

It’s not inspired by E. Hemingway. Actually, that’s Basilio (Yes! From Rizal’s Noli). I imagined him escaping from American soldiers years later after the failed revolution by Simoun. Again, I feel there should have been a better closure on Basilio—bitin! Initially, I wanted Elias to live (speculative stuff—like some Diwata resurrecting him or something. Ah, for the love of fiction).

4. Voltes V

I grew up in the 80s, so I doodle Voltes V every once in a while. I remember as a kid making a large scale drawing of this robot back in Sampaloc, Manila. At six, it was a tremendous feat. I even had to use our apartment’s ‘kurtina’ as a safety harness. It was a masterpiece so grand I was so sure my mother would love it (she was taking her siesta that time). Believe it or not, that afternoon ended with tears. Not tears of joy, but tears caused by the spanking I took on my buttocks as the canvass I used was the lush and creamy wall of our apartment in Prudencio Street. I should have used the back of the chiffonier instead, but decided not to since no one looks at the back of a chiffonier.

5. Office Doodles

At work, I am always armed with a pencil and scratch paper (used paper as we support sustainability) to take notes while I'm on the phone. Sometimes the person on the other end can be very difficult to understand. Most of the times, some are unavailable or you have to wait for a few seconds. You won't believe the doodles and sketches a person can do during those few seconds. 

6. "Leonardo, pakiabot nga yun patis!"

I am a fan of hand sketches. Leonardo da Vinci is such an inspiration. I was sketching at the mess hall when somebody asked for the fish sauce. The hand grabbing a bottle condiment is like grabbing a chess piece. Presto! There goes the hand drawing.

7. Comic Strips

I am a big graphic novel and comic strips fan. In 2019, I did some sketch after reading JD Salinger and Jack Kerouac. I know it's very late at this stage (43 Y.O.), but I have recently discovered a lot of wonderful classics in Google books and Kindle. With a dash of fiction, I imagined what would have been with the characters created by those legendary authors. I also do a bit of comics out of my family activities.

My Materials

Well, I use the old materials of my daughter. She likes to collect a lot of ballpoints at home. She gave me some Muji ballpoint pens last 2019 (that was the last time I had my vacation back in the Philippines). I also like Faber Castell's water colors and pastel. For paper, I have a Muji sketch pad. Most of the other doodles are the backside of used paper at the office. I find monochromatic watercolor paintings nice.

From afar, she's just a speck in the vast desert. Her overalls bloat as cold winds blew an invisible surf, her hair agreeing to Newton's law. Unlike dust particles, she stands still.

17. Commuting Thoughts (5) - Untitled(1)

These are tough times. Education and qualifications—they are important—but during these difficult times, it now depends on the individual to remain steadfast until the storm has passed. One must experience these hard times with a positive disposition and challenge the onslaught like a sailor caught in an enormous squall. 

Yesterday, I sent Sri a message asking if he had received an increment now that he was a chartered surveyor. His response was not what I expected: he was given a notice—he said they don’t have any projects. I then suggested him some companies to apply in; he should have no problem finding employment: one needs to help one keep the dream alive.

I am hoping for the best. I pray for all unemployed professionals that they become tough instead of the times. 

16. Commuting Thoughts (4): Head Over Heels (over the weekend)

I adore the 80s and artists that do covers of songs from the said genre—there are some artists that cover hits from the 80s as if it were originally theirs. I like Japanese Breakfast’s cover of the Tears for Fears original “Head Over Heels”—the simple vibes of the Hammond organ is ethereally good. I am a big fan of the Hammond keyboard from the time I first heard it on a Beatles record.

Yesterday was a relaxing weekend: I switched off the work mode button and turned on the quasi-hermit mode switch: no social media (except this blog) while my brief interactions were a few chats on Viber with family and friends. I engaged my flatmates in a brief chat before dinner, discussing whether there’ll be an office party for Christmas.

Most of the day it’s weirdo mode: keyboard typing on my red netbook, cursive writing on my new Moleskine-look-alike notebook, answering English grammar exercises (I still had some errors, I’m only human), and non-stop reading after dinner (finally completed an epic Stephen King book). Although I ran for half an hour at four in the morning, I recovered back the calories after I devoured a heavy lunch at a Jollibee outlet, but at least I didn’t squeeze in a Netflix movie. I meditated—that would mean staring at the ceiling for thirty minutes while lying flat on my bed, which lead to a chat with God with a siesta as a takeaway

I wrote the first few entries, which was a rough summary outline of my new case study draft, on the first page of my new quasi-Moleskine notebook that I called my APC notebook. I’m still not 101% on the APC as I am worried that I may not be in Qatar anymore next year—now that’s a real key issue.

Head Over Heels

10. Quasi-Hermit Weekend

It’s chilly this morning. I remember a time when I was still in Johannesburg, I would wake up early with a bad hangover on a weekend. Despite the wobbly condition, I would still drag myself to run. Somehow the chilly wind blowing on my face was salvation—atones the previous night’s sinful binge.

I used to have this weekend hermit habit: staying at home reading or roaming the city I was in alone. If I was at home, I just read and relish the experience conveyed by a good book—I don’t utter a single word with anybody. And if I wanted to roam the city, I would walk and take the cheapest route available. 

One weekend morning, I took my company-issued Corsa Bakkie for a ride. Since our accommodation was in Midrand, which was an hour drive away from the townships—that would be Soweto, I get to have breakfast on the road at those makeshift food stalls tended by the local ‘big’ mamas (my South African site agent coined the monicker). Breakfast would sometimes be a staple of pap (a mashed potato-looking lump of dried porridge made of coarse maize or corn) served with grilled sausage (‘sheba’ or ‘boerewors’). The greasy breakfast was heavy and filling—not to mention cheap. The big mamas would be surprised why a Mexican-looking Asian from a country they have not heard before would have the most important meal of the day in such an establishment. I said I wanted to try their food—food is food. The big mama smiled. 

I was just one of the lucky few that were fortunate enough to work in South Africa to build their stadiums and their infrastructure (the Gautrain for one) for the 2010 World Cup. It was just one of the few moments that has been imprinted in my heart.

I experienced that moment alone. And in doing so, I had breakfast in a place that has been unfairly treated as dangerous—dodgy—but there I was, chowing on pap and sheba. Sometimes, you need to be lost to create what you seek. That morning I created an experience; that made me happy.

I need this experience again. I’m restoring this habit again. I will switch off the net.

I will be lost. And in doing so, create those experiences again.

“Not till we are lost, in other words not till we have lost the world, do we begin to find ourselves, and realize where we are and the infinite extent of our relations.”

~Henry David Thoreau

My hermit playlist

9. One-night-stands

I call them my ‘one-night stands,’ and my wife has no issue with such a habit. If there was a particular book that I could not resist reading from cover to cover in one night, it had to be Ambeth Ocampo’s books. My first ‘quickie’ was way back the 90s through the author’s column in the Daily Inquirer. I still have a long way to go with my paperback collection: I usually buy one when I see a bookstore—the pocketbook types I bought through the years at a branch of National’s in NAIA terminal three (I prefer a book instead of devouring a pricey dim sum next door). Try reading Ocampo if you want to understand your history better—I can guarantee you it’s less complicated than a real one-night stand.